Shared Life in France and California

Our friends Keith and Valerie Van Sickle have for many years shared their time between Saint-Rémy-de-Provence and Menlo Park, California. They share a love of culture, good food, time spent with friends and family and travel. Keith is the author of several books about France and we thought it would be interesting for him to share some of his experiences traveling and living abroad.

What is one of your most cherished memories of the first time you traveled abroad?

I spent a term in England during college and traveled with some fellow students to get there. We had an overnight stay in Paris on the way, and we were on our own for breakfast. It was a chilly morning, and down the street was a vendor with a crêpe stand. One student spoke French, so he gave the crêpière our orders, one by one. We all stood in a circle around the stand, shivering and eating our warm crêpes. It is one of the most memorable meals I’ve ever enjoyed!

You have both lived and worked abroad in Switzerland and, subsequently, spent many years dividing your time between France and the U.S. How would you characterize the difference(s) between the two lifestyles?

I live in California’s Silicon Valley, where I spent my career. It is very fast-paced, exciting, and demanding—we’re inventing the future! I love the energy and the optimism, though I often found that work crowded out other parts of my life. Switzerland and France are different, there is more of a balance, more time for long meals with friends, more taking pleasure in small things. I often say that Silicon Valley moves at the speed of the internet, while Provence moves at the speed of the seasons. Both have their advantages, which is why Val and I so appreciate being able to spend part of the year in each.

What is one thing of note that has changed in France during the time you have been regularly spending time there?

My wife Val and I have been coming here regularly for about 30 years, and the changes we’ve seen have been similar to those in other Western countries—a rise in populism, greater political partisanship, and declining trust in public institutions.

Has anything about being an author surprised you?

A pleasant surprise has been the supportive community of fellow authors. I’m in regular contact with others who have either written about France, have websites dedicated to France, or both. You might think that this would lead to competition among us, but it’s been the opposite. Fellow authors have been very helpful in promoting my books and publishing my articles about France.

How do you go about deciding the places to feature in your guidebooks?

If Val and I like something (a restaurant, a monument, a hiking trail) and we think others might like it, I include it in my books. I am not trying to be comprehensive—I don’t provide advice on places to stay, for example—but rather my books are complementary to guides like those from Rick Steves or Fodor’s.

Do you have any advice about self-publishing for aspiring authors?

It depends on what your goals are. If you are just writing for friends and family, or because you “have a book in you” and want to see it in print, then take pleasure in the process. If your goal is to produce a bestseller, then plan to do an enormous amount of marketing to make your book visible to potential readers. And even then, be aware that a lot of luck is involved in becoming a book that captures the public’s imagination, no matter how well written it is.

You and your wife, Val, have cultivated solid friendships in France; for newcomers to France, what are some of the best ways you have found to meet people?

One way is to join an association in an area of interest. Associations are like clubs, and France has many of them, covering a myriad of subjects. Joining an association is a great way to meet like-minded folks. Val and I are members of a local historical society, Histoires Autrement, and have made friends via their events.

More generally, if you want to get to know someone, it is best to take the first step—invite them to meet you for coffee or a drink, something like that. The French can be reticent, so things will move faster if you start things off. And don’t be disappointed if there turns out to be no chemistry because it’s not successful every time. But when it is, and you develop a friendship with a French person, it’s really wonderful.

Dining with French Friends

Aside from St. Remy, where you reside in France, is there another, perhaps underappreciated place you would recommend?

This depends on what you are looking for — city life, the beach, hiking, wine country, or whatever. France is so varied, you can almost certainly find what you want. I’d love to spend more time exploring Brittany, for example, or the Loire Valley.

What have you found to be the best way(s) to gain French fluency?

Everyone should start with the fundamentals—mastering basic grammar and building a modest vocabulary. You might get this from French classes or an online program, plus individual study. But after building a foundation, you have to talk talk talk. Which means making lots of mistakes. This is where I found language partners to be invaluable.

A French language partner is a French speaker who is learning English, and whose level is about the same as yours. You get together regularly and converse in one language and then the other. It’s hard to have a conversation with a typical French person when you are stopping and starting all the time and making mistakes. But your language partner is in the same boat, so it’s ok. You correct and encourage one another and not only improve but also gain confidence.

Val and I have had a number of language partners over the years, at different levels as we progressed, and it has really helped us. As a bonus, a number of them have become friends!

Keith with a French Conversation Partner

Keith Van Sickle is the author of four books about France:

• An Insider’s Guide to Provence
• An Insider’s Guide to St-Rémy-de-Provence
• One Sip at a Time: Learning to Live in Provence
• Are We French Yet? Keith and Val’s Adventures in Provence

You can find more information about Keith and his books at: https://keithvansickle.com/